10 Things You Should Know About Lourd de Veyra

Lourd de Veyra: Weather-weather lang yan

Lourd de Veyra’s  middle name is  Hanopol, and though he didn’t get to see much of his uncle Mike, he has always been a big fan of the Juan de la Cruz band.

Basta yung may alak,” he answers when I asked him where he would want to hold the interview. He comes to the venue with his trademark long hair worn under a hat and a really cool vintage military jacket. He says it is his college ROTC jacket, but he never actually took ROTC. He instead wrote speeches for the commandant to be able to complete his ROTC units to graduate (which he never marched in as well, and he got his diploma seven years after he ended college). Sure enough as he sits down, the first thing he orders is a bottle of red wine. Not the typical image you’d think of when you say four-time Palanca award winner for Literature, anchor for TV5 news, and social commentator. Here are 10 things you should know about Lourd de Veyra.

1. His father was a policeman, his mom a pianist, and Mike Hanopol of the Juan de la Cruz band is his uncle.

His father (now retired) was part of the first batch of rookie cops to be part of the Western Police District, with Alfredo Lim as the ground commander. “Pag mahaba ang buhok namin nung kapatid ko, sinasabi niya, ‘ganyan ang buhok ng mga pinapalo namin sa Mendiola,’” Lourd shares about his father. His mother, “a pianist by profession and dietician by training,” was actually more strict than his father. He shares he never enjoyed any perks as the son of a cop and goes on to say, “Matinong pulis yun, hindi abusado.” Lourd’s middle name is Hanopol, and though he didn’t get to see much of his uncle Mike (“Tito ba talaga namin to?”) he has always been a big fan of the Juan de la Cruz band.

Lourd went to Quirino Elementary School for grade school, Letran for high school, and UST for college. He started his master’s in creative writing twice (once in UP, the other time in UST) but only finished two semesters for both.

2. The cult hit Baboy by Lourd’s band Radioactive Sago Project was born out of a combination of intoxicating drinks, Ating Alamin ni Gerry Geronimo, and George Orwell’s Animal Farm.

Lourd recalls he wrote Baboy in less than an hour before he first performed it. The program Ating Alamin on PTV4 and their features on “pagkakasta ng baboy” made an impression on him and was a big influence on the song as well. “It’s never performed the same way ever, not even once,” Lourd shares. The lyrics (since most of it is improvised) are quite flexible, which is why they performed the song during EDSA Dos and in rallies in Mendiola, as a metaphor for excesses and abuses.

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Radioactive Sago Project was somewhat of an accidental band. Lourd was promoting his first book, and instead of the usual reading, he got a bassist, trumpet player, and drummer to accompany him as back up for a spoken word performance. “From three instrumentalists then, naging nine na kami.”

3. His best-selling novel Super Panalo Sounds! was 10 years in the making. It was product of what he calls a “bizarre” ritual where he spends New Year’s Eve writing.

“Same concept sa talon talon. The idea is you write on the eve of the new year so that the rest of the year will be marked by industry and productivity,” Lourd shares. He usually starts writing by 10:30 p.m. of Dec. 31, joins in the countdown celebration for a bit, goes back to writing, and finishes 10 pages by Jan. 2, then forgets about it by Jan. 3. He realized he could put it all together and planned to submit the novel for the UP Centennial Literary Awards (with a half-million-peso prize), but was seven minutes too late for the deadline. As fate had it, in 2007, his first novel about “how high and how low you can go when you’re rocking and rolling” was published.

4. Lourd de Veyra in numbers:

17: Age he first tried drugs. “Because of friends, and abysmal curiosity. There are substances that induce creativity and substances that just induce violence. Tinalikuran ko na yun.”

4: Number of years he was part of the table tennis high school varsity team in Letran, where they were consistently NCAA champions. Any sport in college? “Olympic drinking.”

7: Number of years he was copy editor for Metro Society magazine. “From a Marxist point of view, okay, ito lang pala nagcocontrol ng lipunan natin from the turn of the century.”

1: Number of hours it took for him to write his speech for the UP commencement exercises, where he coined the term “GMG” (Google mo, g***) for this generation.

38,421: Number of subscribers to the Word of the Lourd videos on YouTube. Of the 434 videos uploaded, the most viewed is titled Slang, with 303,202 views to date.

5. Among Lourd’s biggest influences are Dr. Ophelia Alcantara Dimalanta, Teddy Boy Locsin, and Nick Joaquin.

He was a newspaper scholar in his last two years of college at UST, supposedly to work with the paper after graduation.When he got his last check (for book allowances, although in his journalism course, he didn’t have much books so “yung allowance ko napupunta lang sa ugat ko, pinang-iinom namin, among other things”), the company that paid for his scholarship was in a hiring freeze, so he applied as OJT for Today. “Idol ko si Teddy Boy Locsin, if only for that one photograph nung 1987 flipping the bird. Isipin mo ang gandang lalaki tapos naka-ganun, sabi ko, I wanna work for that man one day,” Lourd shares. His very first article was a piece for the lifestyle section on Bea Lucero and the World Youth Day in 1995. He left Today in 2001 when he won a writing grant from the NCCA worth P250,000. Since he hadn’t experienced just bumming around after graduating, he decided to do just that for one year.

His interest in writing started only on his second year in college. “Sit in lang ako sa creative writing class niya, and then the gates of heaven opened,” he reveals about the late Ophelia Dimalanta, the professor who changed his life. “She both demystifies and mystifies literature. Yun yung klase na sabi ko parang wala na akong ibang gustong gawin sa buhay ko kundi magsulat.” Until he found out later on, “ang hirap pala magsulat.” Lourd wrote an essay about her which he finished before she passed away, but was always too shy to show it to her. “She never got to read it, which is my great guilt in life.

One of the things that frustrate him are young people who don’t appreciate what they are given. “Minsan may lalapit sakin, problema niya, pinapasulat siya ng advertorial tungkol sa washing machine. When in fact gusto daw niya magsulat ng great Filipino novel. Bull****, ayusin mo muna yang advertorial mo bago ka mag-great Filipino novel.” Lourd shares an impressionable statement the late great Nick Joaquin said: “There are no baduy subject matters. Only baduy writers.”

6. He was once almost down and out with only a three-digit amount in the bank left to his name. His vice? Gardening.

“For some reason, kung kailan ang bisyo ko ay walang kinalaman sa krimen, tsaka pa naubos ang salapi ko,” he quips. It was around 2006 when he started to buy and care for ferns, flowers, and fruit-bearing plants. He says that one plant is not expensive, but when you collect them, it becomes expensive. His garden was beautifully flourishing when unexpectedly, typhoon Ondoy hit in 2009. “Yung pinalaki ko at inalagaan kong Traveller’s Palm, kinailangan kong apakan at gawing bridge to get from one end of the yard to the garage,” he recalls with a tone of regret in his voice. He has a mark in his home where the flood hit, and says that every time he gets the urge to make a mindless purchase, he looks at that mark. “Ah, the futility of material possessions.”

7. On his fearlessness in sharing his opinion: “It comes from the fact that nobody actually reads or watches my material.”

Lourd is also known for his criticisms and comments against some of the country’s most prominent figures, but has never had any case filed against him. His attention was once called by his TV bosses for wearing an apron with the face of Kris Aquino on it for his cooking segment in a morning show. (Yes, Lourd cooks. “Vegetable dishes.”) He got a call from his higher ups telling him to stop wearing the apron. That incident actually made an impression on TV5 big boss Manny Pangilinan, so much so that when MVP met Lourd, he said to him, “Ah, ikaw yung nagsusuot ng apron ni Kris Aquino.” “Opo.”

8. Lourd can talk about anything and everything under the sun, but keeps mum when asked about one thing: his love life.

I ask Lourd about this past interview with Cosmo magazine where he was asked what was the sweetest thing he’s ever done for a girl, and he answered, “To stay with her for five years.” He gives a puzzled look and tries to recall when he said that, but later on seems to just accept it. When asked how he is as a boyfriend, he just shyly answers, “Inertia.”

He shares that he once also thought about having kids, but is “past” that stage now. “Baog yata ako eh,” he jokes. “Okay na yung mga aso ko.” He currently has six dogs: Buddy the azkal, Petra, Lloydie (“John Lloyd, guapo kasi siya eh,”), Tekla, and Brownie, all Lhasa Apsos, and Billy Boy the blind shi tzu.

9. Lourd’s top Pinoy picks:

President: “Ramon Magsaysay. He was the only one who truly believed in genuine land reform.”

Sports icon: “Samboy Lim. Ang paradox ni Samboy Lim, sobrang galing niya, pero lagi siyang injured.”

Local restaurant: “Vivian’s Tapsilog sa Project 3, Quezon City.”

Actor: “Ronnie Lazaro. And John Regala. Intense.”

Director: “Mike de Leon. For consistency of vision, perfectionism, and depth of material.” His favorite De Leon films are Batch ‘81 and Kisapmata.

Journalist: “Nick Joaquin. He elevated the idea of reportage to an art form.”

10. He has one important piece of advice for young men and women: “Umasal lamang ng ayon sa ganda.”

He has a whole essay on this topic on spot.ph, where he writes: “Sa mundong pataas ng pataas ang stress levels, dala ng banta ng climate change, kriminalidad, trapik, polusyon, wala nang mas nakakulo ng dugo kesa sa isang taong hindi umaasal ng ayon sa kagandahan.” He lists guidelines that include not posting beach pictures “kung di naman kagandahan ang katawan,” not putting on fake accents, and not speaking English if you don’t have a good grasp of the language. (The essay is written in Tagalog, which drives home the point better.) “Ang masama, ay kung pangit ka na, feeling ka pa,” he says.

In this age of instant everything and access to information through the Internet, he points out inefficiency is one of the biggest problems of a lot of young people today. “It wastes other people’s time, wastes your time, and parang gumawa ka ng sarili mong hukay,” Lourd explains. “Ngayon, konting lag lang ng pag-load ng page sa Internet, umaangal na kayo. As if naman na pag nag-load yung page, you’ll be able to produce a great Filipino novel agad.”

Lourd was included in spot.ph’s “Top 10 IT boys” (which also lists Borgy Manotoc and Erwan Heussaff), to which he says, “Seryoso ba kayo?”

* * *

When asked what more he wants to achieve in his life, he says: “Super cheesy, but after age 25, tumigil na ako magplano ng buhay.” He is now 37. Not everyone may be a fan of his work or agree with his opinion, but Lourd is pretty much taking the road less traveled in terms of life choices and little decisions made along the way. This road is not for everybody, but it’s people like Lourd who snap us out of our pretty little worlds and shake us out of our comfort zones, reminding us that there are many other issues and people that we may not know of, but should care about.

http://www.philstar.com/sunday-life/2012-07-29/832546/lourd-de-veyra-weather-weather-lang-yan 

10 Things You Should Know About Chiz Escudero

How Chiz Escudero almost ended up on Pinoy Big Brother

“I’ve managed to live through several of these trials simply by letting it pass.”

Growing up with a dad who was busy with work and a mom who taught him all household chores, life seemed to be ordinary for this boy who always wanted to become a lawyer. He went on to become a three-term congressman, an elected senator with the highest number of votes, and a consistent leader in public opinion surveys. One of the most talked about politicians because of his mannerisms, charm, controversial love life, and future as a leader, here are 10 things you should know about Sen. Francis “Chiz” Escudero.

1. He never ran for any position as class or school officer until his days in the UP College of Law. He was supposed to run for president of the Law Student Government, but says that if he did, he probably would not have become a lawyer.

He was looking for the “law” option on his UPCAT form, only to find out that he had to finish a four-year pre-law course before entering law school. (He chose political science.) A UP boy from kinder all the way to college, he describes his school days as “a quiet and ordinary existence.” He and his friends wouldn’t be invited to parties, they wouldn’t throw parties, they didn’t have girlfriends, they weren’t bullied, neither were they members of clubs. They were just a “happy” bunch. He admits to just having “okay” grades, in fact failing an English class in high school. “Masakit man aminin, nag-aaral naman ako pero hanggang dun lang talaga yung kaya. May mga kaklase ako na hindi nag-aaral pero natural na magaling.” He also remembers always being at the front of the line (by height) in class every single year, until he reached his growth spurt in his senior year in high school. “Baka nadiskubre ko yung sikreto ng buhay, tumangkad ako ng konti,” he says laughing.

It was in law school that Chiz started to excel because it was something he was very much interested in. He was juggling many responsibilities at that time and says that if he had ran and won for the LSG, “I don’t think I would’ve become a lawyer. Good luck ng malaki, di ako ganun kagaling.”

2. The first time he ran for public office, he didn’t ask his dad Salvador Escudero’s permission, and his dad did not campaign for him either. “I think he wanted to either teach me a lesson, or make the victory sweeter.”

He was still taking up law when he wanted to run for public office, but his parents disallowed him and told him to finish law school first. Upon graduation, he wanted to run again but his parents insisted he take up further studies. (“Actually my mom didn’t want me to get married yet, that was her motivation.”) He went to Georgetown University for his masters degree in International and Comparative Law in 1996, and when he returned to Manila, his dad was appointed Secretary of Agriculture by President Ramos, leaving the congressional seat vacant. As fate had it, unknowingly preparing him for his political plans, his roommate in Georgetown was also from Bicol and taught him how to speak the dialect by giving him a Bible in Bicolano. During the campaign, he surprised everyone (including his father) by giving his entire hour-long speech in Bicolano. Thus began the political career of Chiz, as he was elected Representative of the 1st District of Sorsogon in 1998.

Chiz’s father, Salvador Escudero, was also the Secretary of Agriculture under the Marcos administration and he recalls how most of the children of the pro-Marcos officials left school in the years surrounding 1986. He shares how teachers would say, “Lahat tayo nagkakaisa dito, na ang gobyernong ito ganito ganyan, maliban sa isa,” and all eyes would zero in on him. “I took it in stride,” he says, and in fact, had some of his highest grades ever that semester. That whole chapter in history taught him a lesson early on: whatever position you are holding will not last forever. “It makes you keep both feet on the ground, and not to fly too high kasi masakit yun pag bumagsak ka,” he adds.

3. On his signature monotone way of speaking: “Pumasok ako sa pulitika, bata ako, hindi ako sineseryoso. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism when I was starting.”

“Hindi ako pwede mag-crack ng jokes about serious matters unlike Joker, Miriam, or Enrile, I had to have a serious tone,” Chiz explains. But it wasn’t always the case, he says. “Hindi ako monotonous dati.” In his law school years, as part of the debate team, he developed what he calls a “relatively good memory” and learned how to organize his thoughts. The worst speeches he’s had were the ones that he read. “Since I began campaigning in ‘98 when I ran for congress, I’ve always done it extemporaneously, so that I can adjust.”

4. On the status of his heart after his separation: “Hindi naman ako jaded, parang ang lungkot naman ng buhay kung jaded ka.”

He says you learn from failed relationships, and you shouldn’t avoid a new one simply because you’re afraid of repeating mistakes. But he is clear on where he stands in terms of getting into a new relationship. “Not yet.”

When asked about what he can say now about his “ex” (his term), Chiz says: “It’s a sad episode in anyone’s life that you wouldn’t wish even onto your worst enemies.” Quite the private person, it was on his first day as guest co-host on Kris TV that Kris Aquino asked him live if his marriage has been annulled, to which he had no choice but to confirm. His marriage to wife Christine bore them twins (who are turning five this year). He prefers to have his meetings in the Quezon City area or even in his home, so that he can spend as much time as he can with Chesi and Quino. He admits to memorizing lines from Katy Perry’s Firework and a few Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus songs because it’s what his kids sing and dance to.

When asked about dating actress Heart Evangelista (he refers to it as “meetings,” she refers to it as “dinners”), he says, “I’m not at liberty to say because perhaps I’ll be violating confidences.” He says that Sen. Miriam Santiago did not exactly introduce them in person, but instead, she “introduced (them) using modern technology.. like the cell phone.” He reveals he has never been “on the prowl” at any point of his life, that he doesn’t know how to make ligaw, and that even after his breakup he was never “out there searching.” What is he looking for in a partner, if ever? “Someone I can talk to. It’s about the conversation before, during, and after.. meals,” he quips.

5. On supporting candidates and being independent from any party: “I support the person, not the party.”

He was questioned when he supported the “Noy-Bi” tandem in the last national elections, and when he was told he couldn’t cross party lines, he says like any other voter he has the free hand to choose who he will vote for. “I supported Noynoy cause I was of the firm belief at that time that he was what the country needed from a corrupt government. I supported Binay because I thought he would compliment him, Noynoy having served only in national office, Binay having stayed longer in the LGU. And I would like to think that they would get along because they’re on the same side.” He chooses who to support based on who he believes in, and for him, who you are as a politician should also be who you are as a person. “At the end of the day parties mean nothing anyway in the Philippines, they all fight for the same thing,” Chiz explains.

For him, the biggest problem the country is facing right now is corruption and lack of direction. “We inevitably are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past instead of learning from them,” he claims.

When asked about being president, he says that it is something one can reach only by fate and by faith. “If I’m thrust into it…I honestly cannot say. It’ll be a lie to say I don’t think about it either.”

6. For Chiz, the very first rule in politics is: Never underestimate the voter, the voter is always right.

“Never think for a minute that you are right and he is wrong. The voter is not stupid, he knows exactly what he wants. If you don’t fit the bill, that’s what’ll make a candidate lose. If you fit the bill, that’s what’ll make a candidate win,” he explains.

On political dynasties: “Take whatever it is I say with a grain of salt because I am a product of that. Why limit the voters’ right to choose? Many dynasties have failed. The Assistios in Caloocan, the Josons in Nueva Ecija, the Dys for a time in Isabela. At the end of the day, the question is: Have they done something for their district?”

On new blood in politics: “Good side is new blood came in. Bad side is on some occasions naging pampainit lang ng upuan yung pumalit, with no intention of really serving or doing a great job. You end up having second stringers instead of your first five, kumbaga sa basketball.” He names some of his colleagues who he started with in 1998 like Sen. Alan Cayetano, Migz Zubiri, and President Noynoy Aquino as some of those who have remained, not just warming the seat for their parents.

On showbiz personalities entering politics: “What I heard before is may proposal na parang golf, may handicap ka. For every vote, it’ll be counted as .9 or .8 para may chance yung iba na manalo,” he shares. “Wala namang harang, walang prohibiiton. There is no great divide.”

7. Chiz in numbers:

1: girlfriend he had (for nine years) before he got married to his second girlfriend, Christine. “Late bloomer nga ako, di ba?”

6: number of times he went home to the Philippines within the 1 1/2 years he studied in Georgetown. “Ang lungkot ko nun, paglanding ko dun tatlong araw ko humahagulgol.” It was around this time his relationship with Christine was developing, and he admits to having sent her love letters via snail mail, one of which was a letter in reverse, which she had to read by looking at a mirror.

23: number of people on his staff

1.91: GPA in UP College of Law. He was awarded the Order of the Purple Feather, recognition given to those with a GPA below 2.

60,245: number of followers (as of press time) on his official twitter account, @SayChiz. “Yes, I answer the tweets myself.”

9.3: millions of pesos in net worth, declared in his SALN

8. He almost became a housemate in the First Celebrity Edition of Pinoy Big Brother in 2006.

He did the screenings, he did the interviews, and was seriously considering becoming a housemate. When he told the show’s unit head Lauren Dyogi that he’ll first consult with his wife, direk Lauren answers laughing: “Saan ka makakakita ng asawa hindi gugustuhin makita at malaman ang ginagawa mo 24/7?”

Chiz is uncomfortable with the thought of him being called a “heartthrob,” often being likened to rockstar Bamboo, but he admits he finds it flattering when supporters ask to have a picture taken with him. He does receive fan mail according to his staff, and even once had a kolehiyala sit in the office and wait for the senator to walk by everyday for two months, and everyone thought she was an OJT. “You have to understand where it came from. Lahat ng crush ko sa school, literally, walang crush sa akin,” he says. He even recalls the time he finally got his crush to dance with him at the JS prom. “Sweet dance di ba, both her hands were just by her side, it was so embarrassing.”

9. What Chiz does to unwind: sleep.

He’s not a DVD person, not into listening to music, not really into travelling, not into reading. “I don’t read books actually, I don’t read for fun, if it’s for work I read,” he says. He is a homebody that prefers to lounge around and play with his kids at home when he has down time. “I’m learning how to cook,” he proudly says. His pambato dish? “Paella.”

10. How Chiz handles bashers: “I’ve managed to live through several of these trials simply by letting it pass.”

“For as long as you’re happy with what you’re doing, you’re secure, you don’t really have to please everyone and you don’t have to dwell on it either,” he explains. When there is bad news reported about him, he doesn’t believe in reading or watching each and every single one. “Parang tino-torture mo naman sarili mo, hindi mo kailangan yun.” He mentions how today’s headlines will be pambalot tomorrow, and that tomorrow there will be another headline and another person to bash. His mantra of the moment seems to be “this too shall pass,” which he mentioned several times throughout the interview. “Kaya lang pag maganda yung nangyayari, this too shall come to pass?” he laughs.

* * *

When I interview personalities, I usually set my point of view by finding one word to describe them or figuring out what stereotype they fall under. I couldn’t seem to do that with Senator Chiz. He comes off as smart whenever he speaks, but you can’t say he’s a nerd. He tops all the surveys, but you can’t say he grew up as a popular kid. Fan girls admit to having a crush on him, but you really can’t say he’s a ladies’ man. I guess you can’t make any generalizations about Chiz, and that’s probably the trait unique to him that keeps people interested in him and keeps him on top of his game. From lawyer to senator, product endorser to talk show host, what’s next for Chiz? Yes, I guess we can’t say.

http://www.philstar.com/sunday-life/2012-07-22/830158/how-chiz-escudero-almost-ended-pinoy-big-brother 

10 Things You Should Know About Ruffa Gutierrez

Ruffa Gutierrez: Hurt, tired, but still waiting for her 'forever' love

Ruffa Gutierrez was only 13 years old when she entered showbiz, and when she started earning, she voluntarily paid for the tuition fees of her younger brothers. Today, her daughters attend international schools.

Beautiful. Controversial. Two adjectives probably most often used to describe this woman. She first came into Pinoy mainstream consciousness when she won the title Second Princess at the Miss World Pageant in 1993. Soon after, her name became more known for one controversy after another, from the “Take it, take it” Filmfest issue, to her high-profile romantic relationships, to the legal cases she and her family have been involved in. She has managed to stay steadfast through them all, proving to be an empowered woman, single mom, and celebrity. Here are 10 things you should know about Ruffa Gutierrez.

1. Ruffa was only 13 years old when she entered showbiz, and when she started earning, she voluntarily paid for the tuition fees of her younger brothers.

Her dad Eddie Gutierrez made a comeback in showbiz, prompting their family to move back to Manila from Los Angeles. The payment for his first contract was a house in White Plains, Quezon City (that Eddie and Annabelle live in to this day) so he didn’t get any regular salary. “My mom wasn’t a talent manager yet, all she did was keep making babies,” Ruffa says in jest. It wasn’t an issue for her to be providing for her family at such a young age, saying it’s something inherent to Filipino families. “We were far from struggling, I just wanted to help send the kids to good schools.”

2. She didn’t get to go to college because she chose to work instead. But she now gives utmost importance to education with her daughters Lorin and Venice.

She recalls her mom Annabelle and her getting into a big argument over sending the kids to a local or international school. “She says I should save my money, since I went to a local school and I came out fine,” she says. In the end, Ruffa enrolled both her daughters in international schools. “I don’t care if tuition is $20,000 a year. If it’s for the education of my child, and they can go to Ivy League universities that I never experienced, I’ll give it to them.”

She was all set to take up International Relations and Diplomacy in Schiller International University in London but she chose to stay in Manila to work. “No regrets. My career was booming and I was taking advantage of the opportunities,” she says. She does admit she is toying with the idea of taking a short course abroad possibly next year.

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3. With all the controversies she has been through, she has developed this mindset of forgetting about it after it blows over. “I think that’s one way of not holding grudges.”

At first she jokes: “Ang dami niyan ha! Which one?” She says her friends often have to remind her of some things that happened in the past, and explains “if you keep on dwelling on the past, all the bad things, all the controversial things, I don’t think that you’re able to move forward.”

Of all the events in her life the media has feasted on, the one she considers the most hurtful and the one she wished would’ve ended sooner was the breakdown of her marriage with Yilmaz Bektas. “The future of my two kids was at stake, it was supposedly my dream life, to get married, to live happily ever after,” she opens up. When asked if Lorin and Venice understand the concept of their break up, Ruffa says: “I remember when I got my annulment, we were in Boracay sitting in a jacuzzi, watching the sun set. I said ‘You know what, Mommy and Bubba are officially not married anymore,’ and of course there were tears.” She shares that to this day Yilmaz gets to talk to the girls regularly, but the last time he saw them in person was around three years ago.

Along with the hurtful gossip comes the odd rumors, and the ones she finds the funniest and most outrageous are: that she once worked as an alalay to supermodel Naomi Campbell; that she closed down a shop in London and bought the whole store; that she once gave birth to twins and sold one. “These are funny, exaggerated news items that I just take with a grain of salt.”

She says the turning point where she started to become tough was the Film Festival scam in 1994. “It changed a lot of things that I wanted to do with my life. I hated the Philippines so much that I wanted to go away,” she shares. That was when she started doing auditions quietly in the States, which led to her being a presenter for Century Productions, which led to her meeting Yilmaz while she was covering the Cannes Film Festival in 2000.

4. On what hurts her now: “It’s not about hurting anymore, it’s more about being tired. Hindi ba sila nagsasawa sa kakatira sa akin?”

“Mga hindi busy? Bored? Walang magawa,” she sighs. “You know, the more they bring us down, the more successful we become,” she says of the seemingly non-stop tirades towards her whole family. She says that back in the day she would really be affected by things she would hear, but now what matters to her are what the people close to her say. “If anyone wants to say anything malicious, they don’t really know me, and I’m sure I have a better life than them.”

5. Ruffa considers Yilmaz her one true love, and she is convinced it was cultural differences that were the root of their problem. “We really loved each other so much but siguro he loved me so much that he saw me as a possession.”

She says that theirs was a fairy-tale love that crossed boundaries, but that their story boiled down to one thing: domestic violence. “I really felt self-pity. This never happened to me when I was single, why was it happening now? I sacrificed everything for him and I’m sure he sacrificed a lot for me as well, but I felt life could be better than this,” she opens up. She recalls that during the beginning, she would question herself and try to find reasons. “Umiiyak ako, why did he do this to me, I can’t believe it, but I love him,” she recalls. But after a few years and after it was done so many times, even when she felt she didn’t do anything wrong, the love and pity turned to hate. “You want to fight back, call for help, cry for help.” She shares how it was the three Filipina yayas whom she brought with her who were witness to everything, and she gets emotional when she reveals that one of them just passed away due to cancer. “Yaya Beth, she was really the one that helped me when I was there, when you’re far away, they’re the ones with you there, they know everything.”

Ruffa explains that the end of a marriage doesn’t happen overnight. “Mag-iisip ka pa, should I do it, you’ll think of reasons, you’ll wait for him to do something drastic,” she says. By the time their relationship ended, it went through many months of slow death. When she came home to Manila and her family saw the bruises on her body, they forbade her to go back to Istanbul. “Hihiga daw si Mommy sa runway, sagasaan na daw siya ng eroplano, wag lang ako bumalik sa Turkey,” she says on a lighter note. “I’m really thankful that I had a strong support system.”

6. She doesn’t quite get why men say they’re too overwhelmed to meet or talk to her. “Hello, if you’re intimidated by me then I wouldn’t want to be with you!

“I’ve chosen men in my life that have not done me any good, maybe it’s time to sit back, relax, and wait and see what God has in store for me,” she declares with a smile. She is currently on a year-long, self-imposed “love sabbatical” (that ends this November), after having gone through eventful relationships since her teenage days, from Zoren Legaspi way back when to John Lloyd Cruz a few years back. She also dated a couple of foreign men, saying that it is refreshing to be with someone who has no preconceived notions about you and with whom you can have a normal conversation. Ruffa shares that in one “life class” recently, she listed the qualities that her ideal man would possess. On the list were: tall, attractive, leadership qualities, generous, loves her kids, and someone with the same faith as her. “At the end of the day I may look like a diva, but my needs are simple, I just want to be happy and find comfort in the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

When asked about her sex life during this year-long sabbatical, she laughs out loud and says that more than that, it’s the companionship she misses. Someone to hug, watch a movie with, have a good conversation with. “I won’t die naman if it’s just one year, my whole life naman I’ve been hugged!”

7. She does not want to be part of the “network wars” and is proud to have a good work relationship with ABS-CBN, GMA, and TV5. Despite her shocking network move, she signed with TV5 because her contract is three years and non-exclusive.

Ruffa had three shows on GMA when she chose to leave it all for a quiet family life in Turkey. She came back and was given a break by ABS-CBN for talk shows and teleseryes, then became one of the first big artists to move to TV5. On deciding between the offers of the two networks, she says, “I had to go with TV5 just because I wanted to secure my future and the future of my girls for the next three years.” She recently (and very publicly) quit her showbiz talk show Paparazzi, saying she refuses to be part of trashy reporting, and that she knows where to draw the line between degrading and entertaining. “The values and the principles the show stands for are no longer aligned to what I wish for myself and for my children,” she explains. Though she will not be returning to the show, the staff have reportedly apologized to Ruffa. Proving there is no bad blood between Ruffa and the network, she has already started taping an upcoming fantasy drama series.

8. Ruffa Gutierrez in numbers:

3: Number of men she has loved in her life. “A spontaneous love, a crazy love, and a tragic love. One day my forever love will come.”

15: Length in hours of the longest phone conversation she had with Yilmaz before they got married. “Todo naka-charge lang yung phone, and the only time we put it down was for a 10-minute bathroom break!”

3,000: First talent fee she ever got for a TV special titled Hiwaga ng Pasko. “The spiels were all in Tagalog and I had this thick Valley Girl accent.”

2: Number of times a week she gets a manicure and pedicure.

12: Number of pure poodles she had while growing up. Now, she has just one Maltese named Pumpkin.

9. The luxuries in Ruffa’s life:

Travel: “The memories that you make during your different travels to different countries, you will keep with you for life. That’s also the thing I want to teach Lorin and Venice. I’m taking them to Europe this summer. It is expensive, but I work hard naman and I want to have these moments with the kids. Wala na nga silang tatay, ide-deprive ko pa sila of seeing the world?”

Jewelry: “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!” She shares that she keeps them in the bank and not in their house.

Shoes: “Bags kasi I just raid my mom’s closet. Shoes, hindi kami magka-size so I have to buy my own!” Ruffa, who wears a size 40, used to have a fetish for one-of-a-kind, outrageous designer pieces. “Now I want to go more simple, little by little I’m trying to change my taste.”

Sports: “I splurged on my scuba gear, I bought a bike, but I’m the type who buys things because I want to start, but I end up not finishing it. I have to learn to excel in one thing!”

10. Ruffa’s biggest advocacy is the fight against domestic violence, and she strongly believes the key is empowerment.

“I know it’s difficult, but never be afraid to speak out tell a friend,” she says. She herself didn’t tell her parents that she was abused until she decided to end her marriage. “A lot of the women that are in relationships that are abusive, normally their husbands are very powerful that’s why they are afraid. But with God and a strong support system, I think they can overcome it.” Ruffa says every single woman should empower herself, by working, by not sheltering herself and making her life revolve only around the husband, by having hobbies and sports, and by keeping themselves productive.

* * *

I was curious to find out how Ruffa would answer the very same Miss World question she was asked before: How would you tell a girl who’s suffering from low self-esteem to feel better about herself? Her answer today: “It’s not about looking good but about feeling good about yourself, how you are as a woman, if you’re whole, in your spiritual life, family life, and everything else will follow.” Her answer before: “I’ll tell her to believe in herself because it’s not only physical beauty that’s important but also inner beauty.” Ruffa says she found her answer back then very “automatic” and “showbiz,” but it seems both answers say the same thing. The only difference is, the 19-year-old Ruffa probably answered that as an idealistic, first-time beauty queen, while the now late-30s Ruffa (she laughs it off when asked about her age) answers out of experience, wisdom, trials and victories. And whether you are a fan of Ruffa or not, it is the many controversies that keep coming her way that will continue to make her stronger and more beautiful.

http://www.philstar.com/sunday-life/2012-07-01/823011/ruffa-gutierrez-hurt-tired-still-waiting-her-forever-love